Monday, March 2, 2009

Am I Dying??

I try not to be melodramatic, but there are moments in your life when the thought crosses your mind "Am I dying?" Last Thursday, the 26th, I woke up early decided to do a Hula Workout Video. This is not part of my normal routine, but I thought learning a little Hula while exercising would be a little fun. As you know, the Hula requires a lot of hip movement/shaking. I finished the video (yes it is a Video) and got the girls up for school. I hurried them out the door and ran up to take a shower.

My abs started hurting in the shower and I thought "wow, that was a great workout, I already felt it in my abs!) I got out of the shower and got dressed and my jeans were killing me. I took them off and put on my sweats. I had a mutual activity the night before with the Youth and I thought maybe I had gotten food poisoning. I wondered who else may have gotten it. It hurt to walk around, so I plopped into my bed. I could not get relief, it was like a labor pain that wouldn't go away. FOOD POISONING, was that was causing me this horrific pain? My husband felt bad, but had to head to work. He called my in-laws and had them come get Emily to school and take Tyler to their house. I had to be with Stacy. How was I going to care for her, when I could barely function myself? I mustered up enough energy to make Emily a sandwich at my Mother-in-law's request. Just doing that 5 minute act just about sent me over the edge. I started feeling light headed and everything went black and white. Somehow I managed to climb the stairs back to my room and plopped down on my bed never wanting to get up again. I thought I was going to die. I called Jason with the last bit of energy I could and he didn't answer. I called to say goodbye. I was crying, not knowing how I was going to make it through this alone. He called back and said, "I just talked to my boss and told him that I can not come in today, that I needed to take care of you." He listened to the promptings of the spirit, he knew that I need him. Already I felt that hope was on the way.

He came running to my side and said he is taking me to the ER. He and his dad gave me a blessing and them we headed out. I do not like the ER, I think they move slow, everything about the whole process is slow- there is no emergency (unless you come in an ambulance, I guess.) For us cheapies that drive ourselves, we have to wait our turn. Anyway, we sat down and waited for my name to be called. The pain kept escalating and I wanted to lay down desperately. I kept sending Jason up to the desk to see when we were going to be admitted. As the minutes wore on, I could sense I was either going to throw up or pass out. They got me into a wheelchair and eventually took me into a room to answer some questions. I started losing my eyesight and feeling as if my life was slowly slipping away from me. Panic set in and I feared that I would never see my children again. I hadn't said good bye to the kids. I have so much yet to do here, this couldn't be my time!! The feeling was so real and very scary for me. I realized how afraid I am to die.
Luckily they rushed me back to my room and laid me out on the bed. At this point I felt a little better, hopeful that they would find the cause of my intense pain. My blood pressure was really low. They gave me an IV and some pain killers and I began to relax. The pain engulfed my whole abdomen. After tests and hours of lying there helpless, we found out that it was my Appendix. It was longer than normal and reaching from one side of my body to the other (like a snake). Ooohhh!! Thanks for the visual DR.! Luckily they fit me in that night and within three hours I had it removed. Thank goodness it was not more serious! I am grateful that it is out and I am alive! It has been a painful recovery, but I am grateful for the help I have received. I truly feel blessed. Life is a very fragile and wonderful gift we have been given. It is at times when we feel that gift may be taken away that we truly take the time to appreciate all that we have. I love my life and grateful for the family I get to share it with.

6 comments:

Amy R said...

We're all glad you're okay! How scary!

Jessica Simonsen Howard said...

Wow, that is some craziness. Hope that you are recovering well from the surgery. I am pretty sure that I don't want to go through that. I had the Gal Bladder problem, but that did not sound that bad.

Sheri said...

I remember Greg going through that! I am so sorry!! Hope all is well and we are praying for you!

Jennifer said...

That sounds HORRIBLE!!! I'm so glad that you are doing better. Isn't it true that a hospital is in a time warp - everything moves in slow motion.

I too fear dying. I've always wanted to raise my kids myself. I'm selfish that way.

Love you. Easy on the Hula video.

Bright Eyes said...

I'm so glad you got it taken care of. The Holy Ghost is an amazing gift isn't it. I'm glad Jason came home for you. I hope you are doing better now (almost a week later). Big hugs!

Zann said...

Oh my goodness. I would have thought I was dying too. I'm glad you've been taken care of and that you're doing better. That is scary stuff. Kudos to Jason for being there for you.